Today I completed my 7th day of yoga practice. I’m feeling like I’m in a good place right now, but my first week was challenging and I was seriously reconsidering my decision to make studying yoga such a large portion of my trip.
My concerns were several fold. I’m relatively new to the Ashtanga Yoga. I have really only been practicing in led classes a few times a week for about 6 months. I’m not a physical person. I have never successfully committed myself to a physical practice. (I know it is hard to believe that the girl born without any hand and eye coordination and social skills did not actually excel in sports in my childhood. My parents made some attempt to force me into a dance class - if only to get me out of the house for an hour a week. I’m not sure why they thought it was reasonable to put their completely uncoordinated daughter into a class that requires both the ability to follow instructions and move one’s body at the same time with a group of other girls AND then they throw you in a sequin dress, toss you a stage and tell you to dance. This was all captured in one photo of my 8 year old self, petrified, turning in the wrong direction of the perfectly unison dance troupe. There were no more photos after that- my parents decided to do the more humane thing and put me in piano lessons. But I digress).
It is not unexpected that I came to yoga later in life. My new housemate mentioned that she believes that people come to yoga when they are ready for it, and that I believe. I came back to yoga during a tumultuous time in my life. Everything had been uprooted and nothing felt familiar except sadness and self doubt. Yoga provided me with a much needed physical outlet and some structure I could actually manage to adhere to. Ashtanga yoga practice is physically and mentally challenging - this isn't your watered down yin yoga (don’t get me wrong there is a time and a place for yin). It is a more of a kick your ass and make you feel like you can’t possibly do another chaturanga push-up then put myself into a pretzel while supporting my body weight all while breathing smoothly and not judging yourself.
This brings me to my first day at school. First off when we registered we found out that we could not study with Sharath (Grandson of Pattabhi Jois), since in the states we were not practicing with an "authorized teacher". So we were placed in Saraswathi's (Daughter of Pattabhi Jois) class. I still don’t really understand why Saraswathi is not considered the more sought after teacher- but they are a very traditional and strict bunch of yogis here. Natalie thinks it is because she is a women, a point I've yet to find any evidence to the contrary, but I don't really know it works. I wasn't totally disappointed because I was not super attached to the idea that we would be practicing with Sharath since it is not a led practice (we all move through the sequence individually, all starting and stopping at different times) I didn't think it would be that big of deal either way. We got up at 5 am to start our practice. Everyone was moving asynchronously. I found a spot and started. After two asanas I forgot the entire primary series. I could rememberr most of the postures but totally out of order. I'm really not used to practicing in the Mysore style. Every few minutes Saraswathi would yell "hey you, what you do?" To which you are suppose to A) know she is referring to you when she shouts "hey you" and B) you should hopefully be able to respond with the name of the asana you last did. I failed on both accounts. For some reason even when I know the name I can't produce the words with my mouth- "ardha baddha padma pascimattanaasana" does not just roll off my tongue. My practice ended that day with some nice British guy coming to my rescue to help to translate what Saraswathi was yelling at me to do. At first I just thought he was another student who felt so bad for me he had to come over and help, but I later learned that he was a teaching assistant. While I wound not say I felt humiliated it was definitely humbling. James Altcher blog post pretty much captures my experience and it is so hilarious.
I've been been studying the sequence and asanas at night and have picked up a few yoga books to gain a deeper understanding of the practice. I'm formulating a better foundation of the primary serious, but fuck if I can say Tiryangmukha ekapada pascimattanasana on command.
I can't stop taking pictures off all the animals running around. Hence the theme below.
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