Journey In, Journey Out

India is full of all these well adjusted happy yogis summering in Mysore. (that is right-I,m using summer as a verb here people - or maybe it is a transitive verb...someone cares about this correct me if I'm wrong).  They all are sitting around enlightened sipping coconuts, photographing yoga mats, chanting Sanskrit, delving deep into their yoga "practice".  I had been feeling this pressure to adopt a certain yogic outlook and then I would "really understand" and be able to live a rich and meaningful life.  Living in this spiritually rich city has made me really ask is this what I want? a world of peace, inner happiness, contentment to the point in which my senses, desires, emotions, and worldly body, all blur together  into one divine consciousness which is ultimately me, you, that cock-roach climbing on my housemates arm during the power outage? Well, sure, that doesn't sound  half bad.  But what about the other half?

I've been exploring  some yogic concepts that sound great on the surface...but maybe are not great for me.  First, going within: this idea that everything we need is inside of us but we just need to find it.  Well either this well is really dry or my techniques are shit.  Let me be clear I value the state of introspection.  In fact, if anything I'm high in this trait.   I also understand that the introspection part is not the end goal, but rather just one method of going so far in that everything becomes detached and then I  guess enlightenment explodes out of you and the cosmos are revealed and everything makes sense. I can appreciate that this is a lengthy process.  And as being such a  lengthy process I think, at least for me I'm stuck in the introspective step, and could potentially be stuck here for a lifetime.  I fear that 1.) while I'm stuck here I'm suffering from a garbage in garbage out phenomenon.  Which just seems plain dangerous to me. 2.) Viewing everything from a lens of within limits me intellectually (me in=me out).  I like diversity, I learn about life and myself when my perspective abuts someone else's perspective. I guess applying this concept does not mean that is is mutually exclusive of continuing to learn or grow- but that is what I'm feeling right now.  With anything this is a tool that should be used wisely.    

Second, Asceticism: the concept of living without.  I again half agree with this concept.  I, and probably most westerners, would benefit from having/experiencing  a little less.   Live more simply and then life becomes simple- right?  Restrict your choices and then you forget you had/have a choice?  "Freedom of choice is what you've got, freedom from choice is what you want" (Sorry I had to go there).  Deny all your worldly senses and you get something better. I see a lot of positive benefit that can be derived from this - but on the flip side it also feels to me that someone or entity is telling me to unquestioningly accept what I have and ask for nothing more.   Experience less to experience more sort of argument.  But what if this technique fails, then what? Seems like a waste of a lifetime.  I want to experience both materialism and external realities because this is the world I live in, and to deny that feels somewhat false.  So again I find the surface of the argument so enticing but its full application is worrisome. 

Third, Fate: Everything happens for a reason. Fate is a really beautiful concept, It is a relief to believe that it all happens for a reason but it seems to work only half the time.  While I believe  things happen for a reason (cause and effect), I can't get behind the notion that there is some greater cosmological  or divine plan.  I see this rhetoric as somewhat dangerous in that  it provides people with a level of justification to explain away bad things.  The most recent example  of this that comes to mind was the response to a recent assault of a women here in Mysore.  The women posted what happened on Facebook and someone responded by saying that her attack was part of her path and will help her grow spiritually. I and most of the community disagreed with his perspective.  The thing is this concept works well when it is about positive things occurring ("it was fate that I found 20$").  But you never say oh it was fate that that genocide occurred.  I think it just plain offensive to tell someone x(something bad) happened because it was suppose to happen.   Thus equally so, I don't believe that because y(something good) happened because it was fated to happen.  It happens because of a complex web of timing, biology, environment, political factors, etc.  

The natural extension to the concept of Fate is Karma, if you are positive and a good person then good things happen to you.  If you will it it will be...? I'm not saying it is a bad thing to be positive, or think positively, or project love. These things certainly positively affect our quality of life.  right? I really applaud folks noble attempts to see the silver lining in everything.  But life happens.  Can everything have a silver lining?  Is there really a silver lining to this women being assaulted?  Is this a healthy perspective? Should we always look for a silver lining?

These are just some thoughts- they are not quite fully formed, so please chime in if you have differing experiences or thoughts and want to share.